From One Thanksgiving to Another

By: Beth Wittenstein

Thanksgiving brings different connotations to everyone — some of us envision a huge feast centered around the turkey, others think of watching football all day while the food cooks in the kitchen, and others may think of miscellaneous family traditions. 

Last week, members of the Connected Living Quincy Team served Thanksgiving dinner to more than 75 tenants from two different Boston Housing Authority communities. All who attended enjoyed great company, pleasant conversation, and an abundance of Thanksgiving feast favorites. This was the second year we served Thanksgiving dinner to residents of the Boston Housing Authority and look forward to continuing the tradition for years to come.

Property Manager Lynne reported the following day: “I am sorry I was not here yesterday. The tenants were raving this morning how nice all of you were to them. The food was great and they all had a great time. I want to thank you again. Have a nice Thanksgiving.”

Connected Living Corporate Members Serve Thanksgiving Dinner

While geographically prohibited from joining us last week, Connected Living Regional Director Gina Cambre has her own similar Thanksgiving tradition of giving back every year. She shared her incredible story here:

“19 years ago when I moved to Nyack, NY, I bought and ran a small cafe. It came with a particular, alarmingly friendly customer, always full of unsolicited hugs. But my reluctant friendship became completely genuine as I got to know her. She was the Director of a nearby, county rehab program that she started out of a tiny storefront. She and her small staff not only counseled recovering addicts, but she'd created a day program for some of the at-risk children in the neighborhood. My first Thanksgiving in Nyack, our family was invited to her home to share in their annual holiday feast, cooked by her and her staff for the kids in the program. There was barely room around the table for the12 kids and 7 adults, but they took us in like family. 

“The following year, her group had outgrown her house, so we invited the (then) 20 kids and growing staff to our newest restaurant for their special event. Since 1993, this meal has been our Thanksgiving tradition. Over the last 17 years, we've held the ReachOut feast annually the day before the holiday. It's grown from the original 12 kids to over 100, ranging in age from 5 to 15, and a full staff. Dinner is prepared by my husband and our kitchen staff with food donated by families, friends and vendors. Everyone volunteers for the shift, and the group has been waited on by various mayors, local merchants, and even a New York Times reporter who came to do a story about the celebration. 

“The ReachOut kids, who couldn't be more appreciative, always bring us elaborate hand decorated cards, and have even sung and danced their thanks when feeling especially silly! Many of them never have the opportunity to eat out in a restaurant. Some have lost family and friends to drugs and violence, and won't be celebrating in their homes—they break your heart when they quietly ask if they can take leftovers for a sibling, or grandparent. Especially poignant is that some of the counselors working for the program are themselves ReachOut graduates who came back to work with the next generation of kids. The youth program, thanks to my old, very politically savvy friend, is now housed in an enormous Family Center created from a re-purposed warehouse. It's big enough for an entire community of child counselors, after school help, clubs and programs, and located right next to the Middle School.” 

The Entire ReachOut Staff

As great as it is to give back to the community during the holidays, let’s not discredit the equal importance of family gatherings and delicious foods. For me, Thanksgiving means waking up to my mom already cooking in the kitchen and the Macy’s Day Parade on TV. M y dad and I make Pumpkin Chiffon Pies, and once the parade is over and the pies are done, my sister and I blast Christmas music and peel and eat a pomegranate. Before Thanksgiving dinner, my dad usually tortures us all with his favorite Thanksgiving song, “Alice’s Restaurant.” As simple as each of these elements may be, Thanksgiving would never feel complete without each one — including the musical torture my dad always inflicts. 
This week through the CLN, we asked residents and Connected Living staff to share their favorite or most unique Thanksgiving traditions. The vast collection of quirky elements incorporated into this classic holiday may surprise you! 

“I’m one of 14 brothers and sisters so there are around 65 people that get together at my mom’s for Thanksgiving. About half of us get together Wednesday night for Pre-Thanksgiving to cook.” — Neil Sullivan from Connected Living

“My grandparents lived in the basement. When Grandma was cooking fried potatoes I would follow the smell to her kitchen.” — Glen from the Meadows of Glen Ellyn

“One year my mother added brussel sprouts to the menu for about ten people, we all got one, but wished she had made more!” — Deb from Carriage Green at Milford

“I make champagne jell-o.” — Brendan Vandeventer, from Connected Living

“My six brothers were all in the service. They came home for the holidays and brought friends.” — Gladys from Crescent Point at Niantic

“In our church, we chose an ornament with a gift wish on it to purchase between Thanksgiving and Christmas.” — Joan from Maplewoods at Hamden

“My friends and I do 90210 Thanksgiving. In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, we start referencing the show in emails. It’s very fun.” — Beth Resendes from Connected Living

“Every year, living in Manhattan, my father used to walk us over to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.” — Sybil from the Kenwood of Lake View

“My husband was a hospital doctor, working holidays. He'd invite interns & orderlies over. 20 people for dinner one time!” — Essie from Hallmark

“My family always sang at Thanksgiving. One brother played the piano, the other, the violin.” — Byron from River Ridge at Avon

“My Thanksgiving traditions are spending that day with family, feasting and reading Scripture.” — Christi from Peachtree Road

“I run the Turkey Trot 5K in the morning starting at 7:30 am and then cook all day with my mom.” — James Parrelly from Connected Living

“Growing up on a farm, all our food would be locally grown and organic. Maybe that's why we lived so long!” — Ruth from Hallmark

“Thanksgiving was always a time that we would get together and talk about the kids.” — Louise from River Ridge at Avon

“There’s a cranberry soda that I always have to drink.” — Annie Vernon-Melzer from Connected Living

“We always enjoy our wine on Thanksgiving. Especially at Lisa's house.” — Julia from River Ridge at Avon

“Every year I go to my daughters house and I am able to see my 10 year old dog Trixie. I look forward to this every holiday” — Jim from the Meadows at Glen Ellyn

“We sing the ‘Thanksgiving Blues’ and write a song about everyone at the table and sing it in a concert that night.” — Sarah Hoit, CEO and co-founder of Connected Living

From everyone at Connected Living, have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

A Jolly Video Chat Event With the Grandparents

The Heritage of Des Plaines, a Brookdale Senior Living community, hosted the first Skype event for all residents to video-chat their Grandchildren on Monday November 21, 2011. 

Please read some of the priceless memories according to Lynn Cook, the Ambassador at the Heritage, who helped make this an unforgettable and priceless event.

Mary Mac video-chats with her three Grandchildren

Mary Mac searched for her granddaughter's Skype name and she called her on her cell phone and they connected on Skype. First her granddaughter talked with her, but then her three great-grandchildren popped on the screen and you could see in Mary's face and hear in her voice the excitement - it was priceless!!

Penny video-chatting with her daughter and granddaughter

Then Penny searched for her daughter on Skype and we were able to find her, add her to Penny's contacts and then Skyped with her daughter. Again, the expression and joy was priceless.

Tom Wessel video-chats for the first time with his son and then his grandson

I [Lynn] created a Skype account for Tom Wessel and then we did a search for his son (also a Tom Wessel). We found him and then Tom called him long distance on his cell first and they connected on Skype. His son said, "Dad, I didn't know you could Skype?" It was joyful all around and especially when his grandson got home. His grandson said "We have to Skype more often now that I know you have Skype." I told Tom I would add Skype to his Slate so he could Skype in his room.

All in all, the event was a great success. Memories were made and connections were made.

November in a Nutshell: One Woman’s Great Gift of Gratitude and Giving in her Love and Help for Vet

By Dave Jones

One of the great things that happens with Connected Living presentations around this time of year is the confluence of "good citizen" energies that come together through the series of programs that begins each November with Veterans Day, and continues through successive weeks of discussions of the uplifting "powers" of Gratitude and Giving. People may have seen and participated in some version of one or all of these programs in a previous year, but each November does seem to bring out a new wave of enthusiasm for recognizing our "better selves," and senior residents who are roused by the annual honoring of our military Vets are similarly energized anew for sharing "Thanks" with each other in our Gratitude program, and forthcoming in their stories of their desire to keep Giving to society — somehow, some way, large or small — all the days of their lives.

By the time the Thanksgiving holiday arrives, we've usually already had a powerful three weeks of sharing of feelings, thoughts, and stories about how grateful we all are for our life circumstances in our present days. (It's gratifying, too, how often we hear how thankful so many of our residents are for Connected Living, and these weekly programs we present.)

This year, at the very beginning of November, around the time of our Veterans Day tribute, I felt especially privileged and honored to be hearing the stories of resident Ruth Stein at The Kenwood of Lakeview community in Chicago. Ruth is not a regular attendee of our Monday evening discussion groups at The Kenwood, but when she comes, she is a cheerful and generous participant, and this year she came into the Veterans Day program with enough evidence of her ample Giving, Gratitude, and volunteer Love of our Vets to keep our best human spirits humming past Thanksgiving and all the way to Hanukkah and Christmas.

Ruth Stein sits with awards she received from the Veterans Administration for nearly 44 years of volunteer work she devoted to the Lakeside Veterans Hospital.

In the picture of Ruth we see here, she is seated with awards she received from the Veterans Administration for nearly 44 years of volunteer work she devoted to the Lakeside Veterans Hospital. The crystal pyramid on the right arm of the chair she's sitting in was for 13,500 hours or service at Lakeside, and the engraved pewter bowl on the left arm of the chair was for 10,000 hours of volunteer work there.

Here, we'll let Ruth tell us a bit of her VERY Connected Living story on her own. Ruth says, "I started volunteering at the Veterans Hospital in honor of my brother's return from battle in Okinawa in the same condition he had left home in — I was glad he wasn't wounded, and nothing was wrong with him mentally. So I started working while he was still in service, and I started volunteering at the Veterans Administration Hospital on Huron St., Lakeside, near Northwestern Hospital.

"For a while, for about nine years, I worked as an employee there also. Working as a Ward Secretary, then a Clinic Coordinator, then Secretary to the Chief of Pharmacy. I retired from that position, but continued my volunteer work — for a total of 44 years of volunteer work there. I'd still want to be working there if they hadn't sold the property to Northwestern Hospital and then demolished the place. I continued volunteering at St. Joseph's Hospital until just recently, a couple of weeks ago, now in autumn of 2011. I must have been born to volunteer."

Ruth has many fond, unique stories of her time at Lakeside and other Veterans Hospitals on Chicago's far North Shore. She clearly loved and respected the people she was sharing her time with: "In the VA Hospital, I never met a Vet I didn't like. They were just wonderful people. They never complained, so how could I complain? The only complaint I ever heard from these young men was, occasionally, when one might be dying, they would get mad that they hadn't quit smoking when they were younger.

"One incident I particularly remember: One veteran had stepped on a mine, and he had two wooden legs. Playing Bingo, he would put his wooden legs straight up in front of him, and wrap his arms around them, and say to the other veterans, 'I bet you can't do this.' What wonderful spirit. We were always laughing and kibbitzing like that.

"I also had volunteered with the Jewish War Veterans Auxiliary — we'd travel around to the different hospitals, like Great Lakes or North Chicago, and we'd serve coffee and play games. I loved it, and I loved them. That can keep you going for all those hours and years."

And meeting bright, generous spirits like Ruth Stein is a great way for Connected Living ambassadors and communities to keep going through the Holiday season, and well beyond.

Gratitude - The Key Ingredient to Leading a Happier, Healthier Life with Connected Living

Gratitude is a feeling, emotion, or attitude in acknowledgement of a benefit one has received or will receive (Wikipedia.com). In life, there are many people and things to be grateful for, from health to family members to kind strangers who grant us favors. For many reasons, gratitude is linked with better health and happiness, and is what we consider to be the key ingredient in our recipe for leading a more fulfilling life. Taking time to acknowledge those who do kind and good things for us can have very powerful results.

The notion of giving thanks goes back centuries and is a central theme in many religions. Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, and Hindus all practice giving thanks regularly in their prayers. Many residents in communities with Connected Living have become found comfort in spirituality and giving thanks to God:

“I thank God for being so merciful to me... And blessing me with a NOT perfect family but a very loving one...” – LaBrenna Woods, from KCCSI

“I’d thank God for my husband” — Rita, from Leominster Crossings

“I am thankful for God, for giving me life, good health, and a great family!” — Irene, from Carriage Green at Milford

The link between spirituality and gratitude has recently become a popular subject of study in Positive Psychology, a branch of Psychology that focuses on positive human emotions and traits.


Professor Robert Emmons conducts research in the Positive Psychology field at the University of California, Davis. His primary interests include the psychology of gratitude and the psychology of personal goals, and the relationship of each to positive psychological processes such as happiness, well-being, and personality integration. (psychology.ucdavis.edu) 

Emmons’ findings include: the practice of gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%, a few hours of writing a gratitude journal over three weeks can create an effect that lasts six months or more, and cultivating gratitude leads to other health benefits including longer and better quality sleep. (sharpbrains.com)

We asked all of our residents on the Connected Living Network who in their life they would thank and why. We received many great responses including:

“I am thankful for my mother and all that she did for me growing up” – Glinda, from Carriage Green at Milford

“My godchild. She wrote me a letter filled with love” – Joe, from the Village at Kensington Place

“I am grateful for my grandchildren who have given me the five most beautiful great-grandchildren!” – Philomena, from Orchard Valley at Wilbraham

“My mother-in-law. When she was living, she would take care of any of the grandkids any time we wanted her to do it.” — Harriet, from Haverhill Crossings

“My son, he took me to the dentist.” — Babe, from Leominster Crossings

“I am thankful for Rachael M. She took me under her wing and showed me the ropes. She made me feel welcome.” — Rosalie, from Ridgefield Crossings

“If there was one person I would thank, it would be my daughter, Diane. She does things to please everyone.” — Florence, from Academy Point at Mystic

“We are thankful for the generations before us that have been our role models.” — Gladys, from Greystone Farms at Salem 

“I would thank my Dad for being fair, loving, and supportive. We encouraged each other to follow our shared interests.” — Frances, from Billerica Crossings

“Bonny. She helped me be a more thoughtful person and helped my spiritual journey.” – Marion, from The Heritage of Des Plaines

“Happy Thanksgiving to All of the Connected Living Family. Take the time to be thankful for what you have.” – La Delta Layne, Ambassador at Park Terrace.

As we ease into the holiday season, ask yourself: Who are you grateful for? Then, if you are able to, let them know how thankful you are for anything they’ve done for you. Not only will you make their day, but you will improve your own happiness and health. Share who you are grateful for on our Facebook page!

Anna Hall poses with a resident from Riverbay Club

Veterans Day

For the past week, Connected Living has been organizing multiple outlets for our residents to express their gratitude and words of wisdom for veterans. 

Connected Living hosts weekly discussion groups at many of our communities and this week’s discussion groups were dedicated to Veterans Day. Residents shared stories from past wars and took the opportunity to honor past and present veterans.

For our Connected Living Veterans Day Discussions, we set up booths with American Flags and American-themed snacks to honor our country

Gina Cambre, who led the discussion group in ESL at Wayne, shared her experience: “This week, our Veteran’s Day Tribute brought out an all-time high number of residents—23—which is almost quadruple the average from the summer months! John S., one of our first-time vets, stood up and addressed the audience, offering up several memories of his very proud service. His eyes were filled with tears as he recalled proudly backing up the machine gun regiment he and his men were charged with protecting in a successful battle. Ted P. spoke sadly of the endless white crosses in Normandy. Lillian openly cried when she talked about her brother’s service. Everyone clapped in appreciation of their sharing, and then remained engrossed in the presentation until 40 minutes beyond the usual end time.”

Pat Murphy reported some details from her discussion group in Connecticut: “It was a pleasure to honor our Veterans past and present. Three residents, who were among the 20 that came to the discussion group, were honored for their service. As the program started and the Star Spangled Banner played, Sal rose and removed his hat for the duration of the song. I got goose bumps! The three vets shared where they served, and for how long.” 

Donna Giuseffi shared a moving event from her discussion at Holleycourt: “After we recited the Flanders Field poem, a resident (Gladys Foster) who was a veteran, stood up and finished reciting the poem in its entirety. It was very inspiring and she received a standing ovation from the 48 residents who attended the presentation. She was also at the Veterans wish foundation on Tuesday and shared her story with us.” 

The residents themselves shared some great stories about past war experiences during many of the discussion groups and online on the Connected Living Network. Lee, a resident from Chicago, recalled an old war memory: “My mother made Angel Food Cake for my brother who was serving in the war. She packed the cake with popcorn (real popcorn) so it would not get crushed. Lee's brother told his mom that when it arrived he ate the cake and popcorn, too. Care packages were very much appreciated - many residents agreed that they like receiving and sending them to their families who were serving.”

In Chicago, a visiting veteran shared his story about volunteering for the navy with the residents: “I told my wife I was going to work but instead went to see what it would take to enlist in the Navy. I arrived at the office and asked, ‘What does it take to join the Navy?’ The Navy officer asked, ‘Are you married?’ I said, ‘Yes. He asked, ‘Do you have any children?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Then just sign here on the dotted line.’ I told him I would have to go home to tell my wife what I did, and he replied ‘Do you see that phone over there? Go call your wife and tell her you won't see her for 9 weeks.’ So, I was off to Great Lakes for the next 9 weeks.”

In addition to the shared memories and experiences, we invited residents to post words of wisdom and gratitude on the Connected Living Network that we can forward on to our veterans. Over the past week, we received over 70 quotes from residents in our communities, including:

Former Veteran Frank Palumbo shakes hands with people honoring his years of service 

Thank you for your service, your bravery and the wonderful example you have given us to live worthwhile and honorable lives. – Helen Q.

I just want to give all the men and women there my blessings and good luck. Please take care, I will think of you always. – Alta M.

Being on the battlefield is difficult today. Wish you all well and hope you can serve your time safely. – John H.

ALL of the quotes our residents sent in will be posted on Twitter over the course of the day! 

Today, we celebrate our veterans, past and present, and thank them immensely for all they do and have done for our country. We would also like to give a huge thank you to everyone who took part in our events this past week. We are so pleased that our residents and staff worked together so seamlessly to honor this day and all that it stands for. 

Happy Veterans Day from Connected Living!